50th Post - Insane in the Membrane

Someone seriously needs to do an intervention with me and HPTs. I mean now!! I see lines...don't know if they are really there or evap or what... Seems to me if they were true positives they would get darker. This morning I saw a line (faint) on a dollar store HPT. This was with FMU and at 4:30am. I saw the faint line through tired, cold-mess eyes. I was so happy that I couldn't sleep and when my DH was up and getting ready for work, I asked him if he saw it...he did too. But at this point 2 hrs had passed and it started to look more like an evap line, even though when I saw it the first time it was about 7 mins after.

Well, the POASaholic that I am, I had to take another one...good thing that I always buy them in bulk and had another one.. But this time...NO LINE.... So now what.... is a line a line or was I seeing things through blurry eyes and DH seeing an evap line? AGHHHH! How long should I wait to retest. I hate to get my hopes up. Especially since I don't even know for sure that I O'd this month....but I have never not O'd. I have had a couple of REALLY long cycles though...like 50 days...and I'm on CD31 now. I have had no spotting whatsoever so I don't think AF is around the corner but not sure if she should be or now, most C's are between 27-30 days on a normal basis. And for a BPT we would have to pay out of pocket as no coverage for this.

Like I said, I seriously need an intervention!!! Even though I'm trying my hardest to relax...I CAN'T!