Inevitable...yes, still *trigs*

So, I went to my PCP yesterday to followup on the meds he put me on last month. He is the doc that originally ordered my first 2 blood tests 2 weeks ago...the ones that were 6 & 16. Anyway, he asked how things were going. I told him that I really didn't know and that I had another beta scheduled for Monday.

And, since you know how I am, you probably already figured I couldn't wait that long, so I asked him about doing one while I was there. He ordered one for me yesterday so that I didn't go bonkers in the meantime.... The number: 99, up from 57 on Monday, but only went up 75% over the 3 days. So I don't know anything knew, but for now I am happy to see it rise.

There really isn't much that I can find googling that shows this might lead to a success story. Reality part of my brain tells me that this is probably not viable and I shouldn't get too attached, but.... I've been attached since I saw the 2nd line on the test clear back when it came back at only 6! Guess FRER really does read that well! I'm not bleeding/spotting as of now. I did bleed for about  3-4 days last week, almost like a light/medium AF, but then nothing, and I have had nothing since.

I'm sorry my posts have only been about this, but because I really want to document all pregnancies (even m/c), I really need to put this on here so that if I have similar situations, I will know what to look forward to. Thank you again for your friendship and support!

**UPDATE** Called the dr office when I realized Monday is a holiday and they are closed, so I won't be going in until Tuesday... Good thing my PCP put me at ease yesterday...

Small again

It raised to 57 so still not doubling but rising. My doctor is convinced its not viable. She is ordering another beta for next Monday to see if it goes up anymore and look at the possibility that I was just extremely early when I found out. When I put in the 6 from my first beta til the 57 on Monday in the H.c.G. calc.ulator that I found, it shows my doubling time is 3.1 days, which is considered normal.. But the numbers are small. I don't know what to think. I just have to wait it out. Thank you for your comments/support. You ladies are so incredible!

madness....trigs

So to follow up yesterday... My doctor wants me to go back in on Monday. Pretty much its either I'm bleeding and m/c or we just have to wait until I can raise my numbers. Just for giggles, I took a dollar test this morning.. None of my tests have had more than a faint shadowy line, but this morning, this is what I saw... I must also mention that the tests are different now. They used to be in a pink box and now they are in a purple one...but the information on them is all the same. I didn't even get this dark on a FRER in the last week.

Today's Number is....

36

So here is the numbers in sequence:

5/13/11 - 6
5/16/11 - 16
5/18/11 - 27
5/20/11 - 36

SLOW and LOW rising....not a good combination. I'm still flowing, not heavy, not really light, Sometimes reddish, sometimes old and brownish... Waiting til Monday now.

hmmm. Trigs

So, I'm still bleeding, it isn't extremely heavy, but it is like a period. My result came back at 27. It didn't quite double but Monday it was 16. I go back in tomorrow for another Beta but I really don't want to hold hope just yet.

**To answer you Emily, No, the doctor doesn't. She did have me start taking Progesterone at the very sight of the pos HPT as that has been a problem with 2 past m/c. They are having me see about the betas first and then scheduling me to come into the dr, but basically they are saying at this point I'm too early for an u/s and there isn't anything they can do except wait it out also.

Update -still trigs

I started flowing really bad early this morning. I am supposed to go get another draw today and I'm trying to decide if its worth it to go cross town. I really want to know what is up with my body so I will most likely just suck it up and go get the draw anyway, but for me right now... I have to be realistic and this is most likely the end. I can't keep doing this emotional rollercoaster of hope/dismay.. Its sad, but I pretty much have to think not like I'm preg until otherwise, but more like I'm not preg until my body proves me wrong.

Thank you all for your well wishes. I will update after I get the numbers but if I go in today it will probably be later in the afternoon so I probably won't have numbers until tomorrow.

now what??? trigs

Its hard not to get your hopes up after seeing a positive on an HPT. That is until you get a beta back with 6 and the line seems to be fading. But then, its even harder to know what to think/do when 3 days later the beta comes back at 16!! SO low, but doubled....

I am trying hard to be patient and wait this out, but it seems that for now, I might not be m/c. Oh please God, let this be... Please have mercy on my sanity and mental health.

I've Been Dreading This.... (trigs)

I'm going through another m/c or more appropriate 'chemical pregnancy'. Positive HPT's, feeling some symptoms, more HPT's with fainter lines and yesterdays BPT with a value of 6... Yep, 6.

I've known this for a week and didn't really allow myself to blog about it because I thought being hopeful would jinx things again. Guess I didn't have to worry, the Man upstairs still has other plans for us. I really can't take much more...

My step-sister died on Monday, she was only a few years older than me and young children. She found out in January that she had Ovarian cancer and it was aggressive. I'm really thinking badly right now and feel like between IF and cancer and PCOS and Endo and all the little things....why not just go for the hysterectomy that I'm destined for.