Hope

I still have a little bit left in me. Even after last night. I went to the ER, they had to call a radiologist in, she did the u/s and left and her boss sent the report in to the doctor. It read that is was an early gestational pregnancy that would probably a m/c. And I have 2 cysts, one on each ovary. The doctor said that my hcg is only 3800. He seems to think that I'm going to m/c, but somewhere in me I have this hope. I never had it before, but I have it now.

I asked him point blank if there was any chance I wouldn't m/c. I told him that I didn't want to get my hopes under false pretense but that I also didn't want to give up if there was a hope, he said there is a slim possibility and I would have to wait it out until my appt Tuesday with my dr. So now I wait. The bleeding stopped last night, but now as I sit here and type this at 2:30 a.m., it is back, the same as yesterday, not heavier, just the same.

I may have this spark of hope and it could result in nothing. If I m/c, this may mean the end. If I already have 2 cysts, they will probably start talking to me about the hysterectomy that seems inevitable. I'm really trying to keep my faith, but I'm finding it so hard!