Ever since my D&C last Thursday, I just keep wondering if I did the right thing. I found a website, about Blighted Ovum, and read religiously for the weeks I was pregnant and kept holding out hope that I was just going to be a 'late bloomer' and I would keep going in to my dr appointments and miraculously, there would be a baby one day with a strong heartbeat. After the last u/s, I was 9 weeks, and still nothing and the dr said that the sac hadn't grown and it was only 1.5 cm, so I knew in my brain that I was not going to be a story from the website. I scheduled my D&C.
Now, I'm making myself sick because I can't help but wonder if I had given it a couple more weeks, what would have happened?
I guess that I should be really thankful and feel lucky because I never full on bled and even still I am only spotting and haven't had too much pain, but that only makes me doubt myself more. I had the suction D&C so I really shouldn't have as much pain/bleeding but my heart just makes my head second-guess itself.
I am sorry that I keep going over my m/c and this D&C, but I can't turn to anyone else. I am extremely sorry about my dear friends Angie and Erin that they too are m/c. My heart pours out to Christina, who has lost both of her parents in a matter of weeks. I'm sorry I haven't shown more support to you ladies and have seemed caught up by my own drama... You mean the world to me and I will continue to think about and pray for you.
6 comments:
((hugs)). Please take care of yourself first. You are allowed to grieve your own loss. Love and prayers.
(hugs) Angie is right.
Tanya I had 2 blighted ovums. They are cruel in the sense that you have every pregnancy sensation in the book and there is a sac growing in your uterus...just no baby. Mine tended to last forever. With my first I was 10 weeks before I even started spotting.
Your HCG levels will also help diagnose a blighted ovum. With mine they would go up and then down, then up and then down.
((hugs)) I'm sure you did the right thing but I do understand that "what if" feeling. It sucks.
With every m/c I always have those same "what if" questions. If you look at the betas and the size of the sac, the embryo was not growing and your body thought you were PG. I know its hard to look at all the facts. Sometimes those bogus stories are of people who truly don't understand their body or when they O'd. (((HUGS))) You will get through this difficult time.
(((((Super hugs)))))) Thinking about you, lady.
(((((HUGS)))))
I think that second-guessing ourselves is a normal part of grieving. Angie, E, & Misty are all right. You have the right (& need) to grieve this pg. Also, the medical facts are on your side. It still isn't easy, but it will get better.
(((More HUGS)))
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