Lunch with an Awesome Lady!

I got to meet one AWESOME lady today. I got to meet Sherry! I met her on WebMD last January and I feel so lucky to live close to her and be able to meet her. I feel bad that she got lost, too bad her trek to "the middle" wasn't a straight shot like mine, hope she got home ok!

Where we met:

Parting HUG:

A really cool road sign that has my Last Name....

One of them days...

I hate almost every aspect of my life. I know that I have alot to be thankful for, but the negative part of me is just getting to be overbearing. I can sit here and name 50 bad things to every 1 good thing....I'm not in a happy place. Furthermore, I need to realize that TTC just isn't for me. It wouldn't be fair for me to TTC and be successful and bring a child into my unhappy life. Besides with our economy, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to support another child anyway.

Christmas has always been one of my favorite times of years. And believe it our not, since reaching adulthood, I really don't care about receiving gifts. I just want to make sure that I am able to provide for my children. So far I've done a pretty good job at it. This year is no exception I have made sure that they have been provided for and honestly I feel like now, anything else or anyone else can "suck it". I'm so NOT feeling the Christmas spirit this year. I have lost a lot of faith in the past 2 years. I know that I believe in God and Jesus, but I have lost so much faith and I am not in a good place.

I am very lucky to be blessed with my 2 beautiful children and they mean the absolute world to me, I hope that I'm not screwing them up. I try to be very careful about how I act around them because I don't want them to see just how unhappy I am. I definitely don't want them to think they did anything to make me feel this way. I grew up thinking I was the route of all my single-mom's problems and I always felt guilty when something went wrong, I don't ever want my children to feel that way. Honestly, the only reason I make it through each day is because I love them so very much and I don't ever want to lose them. Thank God I have them or I don't know what kind of a person I would be, probably non-existent.

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I went to court last night. Because I proved I had insurance and recently got a tag on my car, they dismissed both tickets on the condition that I pay court costs- $218, way better than the original $343 that it was gonna cost. And they are giving me until Jan 21st to pay. I think I can handle that since they won't be on my record. The judge was nice, unlike the police officer that gave me the damn ticket..... Oh well, my fault...you live and learn.

yuck

Baby It's Cold Outside.... Its rainy and cold. I can't complain too bad because my family in UT have been getting lots of snow and close to 0 degree temps in the last week. Its 46 out right now and the rain is cold, I know...wah wah...I'm trying to deal with it but I'm tired of being sick and when it goes from 75 one day to 45 the next and repeats, my body doesn't like it! Now through AF in all her glory into the mix and I'm just a ball of joy!

Only 13 more days until Christmas! I can't believe it. Most years I have been done shopping like a month ago, but this year I still have to buy some things. We have the kids taken care of, so that is the main thing to me...anyone else is just the cherry on the sundae... UMMM I could go for a sundae right now.

See how random my mind is... One minute I'm talking about the cold weather and by the end of the post I want a sundae...with lots of hot fudge!!! YUM

A little triggery

Here I sit feelin so bad that AF is here and my tummy hurts so bad and I decide I need a "pick me up", so I start my blog stalking.... Well, what better pick me up than THIS!

Misty, I am so flippin happy for you! I will be praying for you and your DH, how awesome! I don't feel so bad anymore, only a little.

Dot's Giveaway

Check out Dot's Giveaway! She has some pretty awesome stuff and drawing is Monday.....

Good Luck to all!

Wow... I can't believe it!!!!

For the first time in 2 yrs, I am having a 'normal' C. It was only 27 days and no pre-AF spotting. I even had EWCM and PMS signs that there was no question AF was coming. During the last 12 mos, I've only had 8 AFs, a chem pregnancy, 3 of the C's lasted longer than 45 days and all had been longer than 30.

Now, don't get me wrong, I definitely didn't want AF to show up and I'm sure that I will have my good cry and junk food binge in the next couple of days...but I am so happy to finally get back to a 'normal' C. Even more, I'm pretty sure I won't see AF on Christmas or the New Year... :)

A real eye-opener

Possible TRIGS ahead
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Today is a special day! Today happens to be my sweet baby girl's 8th birthday. She is my baby and I can't believe that she is 8 years old already. I was sitting here thinking about how to do a post that gives her a special "Happy Birthday" without causing major trigs to those readers that are presently TTC. I don't know a way to do it so forgive me.

In the past 8 years my daughter has been through a lot, a few things that make her who she is...

• She almost died before she was ever in my arms.
• She didn't walk/talk until 3 years old.
• She was diagnosed with Ataxia and rule out of Cerebral Palsy and they still don't have anything else definite.
• She has had 3 MRI's of her head and 2 MRI's of neck and back.
• She has had EMG, EEG, and EKGs along with many other tests.
• She has had 4 sets of tubes in her ears and 60% deaf in her Left Ear.
• She was moved cross-country away from her extended family because her mommy fell in love.
• She has the best big brother a girl could ask for.
• She can hear a song on the radio 1 time and sing it the next but can't remember what she did yesterday.
• She can memorize a book word for word, but doesn't really know what she has read.
• She will know the answer to a question, but not answer you until 10 mins later.
• She comes up with the most random things to say.
• She is an Angel.
• She is a miracle.
• She doesn't know how special she is.
• I LOVE HER TO DEATH!

It makes me realize that I need to concentrate a little more on the time I have with her, rather than so much on TTC.