Always Waiting

It has been said many times that TTC'ers spend their time waiting. Waiting to O, Waiting for 2WW, Waiting for AF, Waiting for BW, Waiting for dr appts, Waiting for DH to get on board, Waiting for Friends to get there BFP.....JUST WAITING, and WAITING!

Sorry, I'm in the 2WW and I'm having a hard time! I'm waiting to find out if we succeeded this month. I am on CD 23 and about 7dpo, only 1 more week and I'll test, if I can hold out. I am a major POASaholic and I'll probably begin testing at 10dpo and keep on til AF or BFP. Sad, I know... If I get a BFN, I do have to look into the option of BCP now. I know that we need to TAB since we will be moving, looking for jobs, all that fun stuff. I don't know whether to wing it since we haven't gotten KU yet anyway, or whether to prevent for a few months.

Oh and the move is another story in itself...MORE WAITING. We aren't leaving until March 21st to go back, even though if circumstances were right, we could leave at the end of Feb. We are staying to watch my step-son graduate Bas.ic Trai.ning at Fo.rt Jack.son, SC. It is on March 19th. We will then come home to an already packed home (crossing my fingers on this one), load the Uh.aul all day the 20th, and pull out first thing the 21st. I hate to leave Alabama, but I'm so ready to see my family. That is what is making this wait hard, knowing we are going but just waiting...

This post is all over the place so I'm just going to end it there. Why did I get up so early on a Saturday morning anyway?

In response...

Warning, possible trigs...Adoption talk..

I read Misty's blog yesterday and it really got me thinking about adoption and how everyone feels differently. It talked about her and her DH and their struggles regarding the choice to move on childless or onto adoption. It got me thinking. I am not in the same situation, for I was very fortunate to have children with my first husband. But this post prompted me to talk to my husband on a deep level about adoption. I have never considered it for us because if the whole TTC issue doesn't work for us, I always felt grateful for what I have and can deal with it. Well, it turns out that my husband, in certain circumstances feels different.

I asked him in a way, why men do have a harder time with adoption. Suprisingly, he didn't say that it was because he didn't think he could love the child as his own. His answer? He would be afraid of the birth parents coming back into the childs life and want them back. That is a very valid fear. I wonder if it is a fear behind a fear that many of our DH's have and they don't express. He also said that he would want to adopt a baby, not a child...which I can also see his reasons for. I think that we are all different in our reasons for wanting/not wanting to adopt.

What do you guys think? Have you had the 'adoption' talk with your spouse? I have to admit that I was very surprised to hear my husband say he would be willing to adopt if we had the means to do so. He even told me he wishes that we were well to do so that we could adopt as many from Haiti as possible. I saw my husband in a new light. I LOVE HIM so much, and this is just one of the reasons.

PS. Misty, I hope this doesn't step on your toes, I just loved your post and pray that you and your DH find comfort in whatever decision you make!

I 'PEAKED'

So my fab friend, Sherry, gave me a CBEFM and I have been using it for the first time this C. I haven't temped for about 4 mos and I have actually had normal length cycles for the last 3 months (around 27-29 days). Today, I PEAKED.... I was wondering why it said high yesterday and not peak considering my abundant EWCM yesterday. I had O Pains today so thinking I O'd today. My question is, why would it say PEAK the day I feel I O'd... I thought its purpose and the purpose of OPKs was to detect a surge a day or two before you O'd..am I wrong in thinking this? Just wondering.

In any event, I'm only on CD14 and so happy to have O'd because that means another normal length Cycle and that is cause for celebration itself. Maybe I better just stop temping forever, maybe that had been making me stress too much about O'ing that it was delaying me?! I don't know. Honestly the next few months I would be more than elated to see a BFP but given a recent decision to move back home to UT in March, I won't be disappointed with a BFN because there will be a lot of stress. However, if I don't see AF by Feb 5th, I'm testing cause DH's bday is the 7th and that would be an awesome birthday gift!

A blog that might be worth checking out...

I have been to A BLOG THAT IS TRYING TO HELP those that are TTC. It is written by a woman who went through IF herself and she is working on her PhD and needs people that are going through IF to participate in a survey to help her with her study. The survey, according to her, only takes about 20 mins. She seems genuine and you can read more about her efforts on her blog page. Go to one blog that is titled, 'A little about me'.

You can follow that link or go to drhousewife.blogspot.com to see more info or to see if you may be interested. She does have a few 'qualifications' for the study... I can't do the study because I don't meet requirements, but I would if I could because I believe in IF awareness and I think that she has whole-hearted intentions.

• Member of a married, heterosexual couple
• Both you and your spouse are between the ages of 20 – 45
• You do not have any biological or adopted children living in your home
• You are not currently pregnant
• Either you, your spouse, or both has received an infertility diagnosis
• You have received treatment for infertility in the past six months, or plan to do so in the next six months
• Both you and your partner are willing to participate & have access to the internet

You can contact her by email also: UTInfertilityResearch@gmail.com

I'm Recruiting

DESCRIPTION: I'm now recruiting people to send encouraging letters to my step-son who is in the National Guard. He is in Basic Training and this is his first week, one of the toughest there is. He is expected to have a real hard time the first 3 weeks. I'm trying to get people to write a letter or send a card of encouragement so that he won't want to quit!


REQUIREMENTS: None

If you are interested in sending him a card/letter, please contact me on facebook or if you don't have facebook, email me at (tanya s 11 88 at ao l dot com) no spaces.

I would really appreciate anyone doing this!!! In the letter or card, just let him know you are my friend so that he'll know it legit...

SPOT no more

AF is here in all her glory, officially the last C of my 2 years. I don't know what is supposed to be next. Officially I am supposed to be at the end of my TTC effort, but I can't give up, not 'til my body gives up. My dr told me 2 years ago that the endo would only stay gone for about a year, maybe 2 tops. He said the lap was just gonna be a "bandaid" and that if we planned on having more children, we needed to "Git R Done". Well, it still hasn't happened, not that we haven't tried....

I can feel the endo all the time and I know that it is getting worse again. I know now that the fibroids are back to and that is the cause of my mid-C bleeding. So now, do we keep going through the Lap and D&C every other year...not to mention the awful Lupron... or do we think about "the end".

I am in a place right now that I'm not going to think about it. I refuse to give up hope, I refuse to go through this pain month after month for this long just to have my girly parts removed and have no chance for another.. After all, we are TTC against the odds...what do I expect? I surely didn't think that this was going to be easy. Well, actually, when we started, I did think it was going to be easy, but that was based on previous experience. I HAVE to say that not willingly I am one of those that has to say: If it happens it happens, if not, we will be ok.... I only say that because of being blessed with 2 beautiful children already... But deep done, I don't know if I will be ok if it doesn't.

Well, for now, I will continue to TTC and I don't know how long I will have this positive hope/faith, but it is there, and it tells me: Maybe it will happen this year...

Only need 3 words today......

ROOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLL
TIDE
ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so proud of my Bama team, well at least the Defense and running backs, not sure WTH was wrong with McElroy, he couldn't pass for sh!t. Anyway.... 1st time ever that Bama beat Texas and now BCS Champions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!!