I just want you ladies to know how much I appreciate each and everyone of you. Here is just one example of how strong and influential your posts/blogs are to me....
I decided to stop TTC because of this nasty AF, I even took my first BCP yesterday in almost 2 years....Then, I read Christina's post this morning. I can't stop TTC. I can't give up yet. I have this dream and yearning that is so strong and deep and I can't stop it just because once a month I am put through the ringer. It is a small price to pay to go through 2 HELL days a month (the most heavy and painful only last 2) to possibly become preggers. So this morning, I didn't take a BCP and I'm not going to...YET.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
I HATE HER!!!!!
Yes, I used the word HATE!! I don't use it often because it is a very strong word, and I hardly ever use it when talking about someone, because mostly I don't hold too many grudges....BUT
I HATE the NaStY, mEaN, wIcKeD, AF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yesterday I was uncomfortable and not feeling well because of her already, well sometime in the middle of the night she decided that wasn't enough. I changed my monthly earring 3 times during the night and woke up to find if I would have waited 10 more mins I would have bled all over our bed!!!!!!!!!!!!! YUCK... sorry if that gave anyone a mental picture.
On a better note, DH's daughter didn't announce she was pregnant, only that she thinks she is. She hasn't missed a period yet, but she has been sick for the past few days. So sick she can't even cook hamburger meat because the smell has been bugging her. She also informed me that she takes HPTs every month to make sure she's not preggers...yeah OK..WHATEVER! She has been trying to get pregnant ever since she was 15, and she has succeeded once. OMG, why am I so jealous? I know she is doing better now with this new bf, who DID ask permission to marry her last night. She still wouldn't know what to do if she had to be by herself with her daughter for more than a few hours, so at least he is there too and he is good with them both!
I HATE the NaStY, mEaN, wIcKeD, AF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yesterday I was uncomfortable and not feeling well because of her already, well sometime in the middle of the night she decided that wasn't enough. I changed my monthly earring 3 times during the night and woke up to find if I would have waited 10 more mins I would have bled all over our bed!!!!!!!!!!!!! YUCK... sorry if that gave anyone a mental picture.
On a better note, DH's daughter didn't announce she was pregnant, only that she thinks she is. She hasn't missed a period yet, but she has been sick for the past few days. So sick she can't even cook hamburger meat because the smell has been bugging her. She also informed me that she takes HPTs every month to make sure she's not preggers...yeah OK..WHATEVER! She has been trying to get pregnant ever since she was 15, and she has succeeded once. OMG, why am I so jealous? I know she is doing better now with this new bf, who DID ask permission to marry her last night. She still wouldn't know what to do if she had to be by herself with her daughter for more than a few hours, so at least he is there too and he is good with them both!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Friday the 13th...
So today has been a living hell. First, the day before yesterday the belt on my car broke and had to be towed home... I have been driving our POS car that I've been trying to get rid of, it dies anytime it is idling. It drives great, but doesn't want to idle at any stop signs or stop lights... ANNOYING.
Second, the witch is being awfully mean to me and I feel like total CRAP!!!! I wish I could just go lay down with my heating pad and pain pill. But my house has been put off for the last week because I was sick and I really need to clean. I have laundry, dishes and plain straightening up to do. The little stuff that isn't necessary is just gonna have to wait.
Third, my DH's daughter and boyfriend are coming over tonight. They called the other day and asked if they could come over tonight because her bf wants to talk to DH. Well, they are already kinda planning on getting married in April so I'm pretty sure he is gonna ask DH for permission tonight. I also have the feeling that she has been TTC since she has been ever since she was 15 and already has 1 child that is almost 5. She is actually doing better at being a mom since being with her BF and he takes really good care of her and the baby, but if she announces that she is KU anytime soon....I will lose it emotionally. Mainly because up until recently, she wasn't that good of a mother. And I will be extremely jealous and will not be able to see how it is fair for her to have another when all my TTC sisters can't.....
Anyway....here's praying that the rest of today/tonight go better...
Second, the witch is being awfully mean to me and I feel like total CRAP!!!! I wish I could just go lay down with my heating pad and pain pill. But my house has been put off for the last week because I was sick and I really need to clean. I have laundry, dishes and plain straightening up to do. The little stuff that isn't necessary is just gonna have to wait.
Third, my DH's daughter and boyfriend are coming over tonight. They called the other day and asked if they could come over tonight because her bf wants to talk to DH. Well, they are already kinda planning on getting married in April so I'm pretty sure he is gonna ask DH for permission tonight. I also have the feeling that she has been TTC since she has been ever since she was 15 and already has 1 child that is almost 5. She is actually doing better at being a mom since being with her BF and he takes really good care of her and the baby, but if she announces that she is KU anytime soon....I will lose it emotionally. Mainly because up until recently, she wasn't that good of a mother. And I will be extremely jealous and will not be able to see how it is fair for her to have another when all my TTC sisters can't.....
Anyway....here's praying that the rest of today/tonight go better...
Thursday, November 12, 2009
I'm Out
This C is officially a bust! I have had spot since Tuesday night and tonight I believe she is here.... DAMN Witch anyway! Back to the decision of keep on TTC or BCPs through the holidays. If I decide not to use the BCPs, and continue to have these long C's, I will most likely see AF on Christmas...not something that will be welcome!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
My Endo....BLAH
First, LOL Caitlin.....I don't expect you to remember all of my probs....
So my history..... Well when I was 15, I didn't have a lap but my AF started to get to the point that all I could do is curl up and squawl. Then I started blacking out/passing out. My mom took me to the dr and they put me on BCP and that helped a little, but they were still very painful and very heavy.
When I was 19, I went through a phase of not eating very often, in hopes to lose weight and I wasn't living healthy...My periods got lighter and sporadic at that time. I ended up getting preggers and after I had my son, I actually had normal periods for a year and got KU with my daughter. Then for another 2 years my periods were actually normal again and slowly got worse and worse.
Two years ago, I married my DH and at the time, we didn't plan on TTC right away. But right after I got to AL, I couldn't stop bleeding. We were newlyweds and I was bleeding everyday for a month. I went to the dr and they did a lap. They found fibroid tumors and endo. The cut out the tumors and biopsied them, they were benign. And they burned off the endo. I kind of knew about the endo because my dr in UT pretty much told me that before but when I was younger, I didn't have the opportunity to do the lap.
Anyway, my dr said that when you get preggers, it is kind of like a magic eraser for endo...temporarily. Because my endo was mainly on my lining and ovaries, when I was preggers I didn't have it any longer. He also said that it usually takes about a year or two that you are in the clear before it comes back. My dr here in AL said the same thing and that the LAP was kind of like a bandaid and would only last for about a year, maybe 2. Well, right after the LAP, I took Lupron...OH, what a joy....NOT!!!!
At this point, I wonder if I might not also have PCOS because of my irregular C's and hormone imbalance. You see, I'm a very heavy person and when I was preggers, I lost 70 lbs and my girl was still 8 lbs 5 oz, and it only took 6 weeks for me to put it all on. My dr thinks that the preg hormones actually stabilize my body/thyroid/metabolism and that I have a hormonal imbalance on a regular basis...this I have not confirmed so its just a theory. But, it is my next step to get checked out.
And besides all of this, my DH was told years ago his sperm count was low. They had him tested when he was married to his late wife and it took them 5 years to get preg with their 2nd child.
Thanks to Sherry, I do have the endo diet and I try to stick to it....but its hard....
And thats me in a NUTshell... :)
So my history..... Well when I was 15, I didn't have a lap but my AF started to get to the point that all I could do is curl up and squawl. Then I started blacking out/passing out. My mom took me to the dr and they put me on BCP and that helped a little, but they were still very painful and very heavy.
When I was 19, I went through a phase of not eating very often, in hopes to lose weight and I wasn't living healthy...My periods got lighter and sporadic at that time. I ended up getting preggers and after I had my son, I actually had normal periods for a year and got KU with my daughter. Then for another 2 years my periods were actually normal again and slowly got worse and worse.
Two years ago, I married my DH and at the time, we didn't plan on TTC right away. But right after I got to AL, I couldn't stop bleeding. We were newlyweds and I was bleeding everyday for a month. I went to the dr and they did a lap. They found fibroid tumors and endo. The cut out the tumors and biopsied them, they were benign. And they burned off the endo. I kind of knew about the endo because my dr in UT pretty much told me that before but when I was younger, I didn't have the opportunity to do the lap.
Anyway, my dr said that when you get preggers, it is kind of like a magic eraser for endo...temporarily. Because my endo was mainly on my lining and ovaries, when I was preggers I didn't have it any longer. He also said that it usually takes about a year or two that you are in the clear before it comes back. My dr here in AL said the same thing and that the LAP was kind of like a bandaid and would only last for about a year, maybe 2. Well, right after the LAP, I took Lupron...OH, what a joy....NOT!!!!
At this point, I wonder if I might not also have PCOS because of my irregular C's and hormone imbalance. You see, I'm a very heavy person and when I was preggers, I lost 70 lbs and my girl was still 8 lbs 5 oz, and it only took 6 weeks for me to put it all on. My dr thinks that the preg hormones actually stabilize my body/thyroid/metabolism and that I have a hormonal imbalance on a regular basis...this I have not confirmed so its just a theory. But, it is my next step to get checked out.
And besides all of this, my DH was told years ago his sperm count was low. They had him tested when he was married to his late wife and it took them 5 years to get preg with their 2nd child.
Thanks to Sherry, I do have the endo diet and I try to stick to it....but its hard....
And thats me in a NUTshell... :)
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Just A Guess.....
It's not going to happen this month. I just used the RR and spot was there, I'm sure AF will follow either tomorrow or Thursday. It was fun to think positive for awhile though, no I'm back to my poor, pity-me self. I guess I can count this C as another retarded long irregular. I gave myself 2 yrs and that will be up in February. Now that I'm reaching my goal, I don't know that I want to give up. If it weren't for the freakin' Endo, I wouldn't, but AF is starting to be more than just a major pain every month... Its getting to the unbearable state again. Here's hopin' when she gets here, she will take it easy on me.
Not So Bad
The weather is not sooo bad, but Ida just made landfall, so not sure what to expect mid-morning. All the rain has passed through the night and there aren't any more big bands coming with Ida, just strong winds and possible power outages. We are also on for tornado watches and flood watches, I guess tornadic activity is normal with Hurricanes. I kept the kids home anyway. I know, I know, bad mommy...but we are gonna have an indoor game day. I don't usually let the kids stay home just because so they think they are pretty neat today. Truth is, last time we had storms, I sent them to school only to go back 1/2 hr later when tornadoes where hitting..
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