False Hope

You would think that after so long TTC that you could look at a HPT and know that there is either 1 line or 2 lines. Not for this TTC'er, I see faint lines..often...I am tricking myself I know only to be disappointed!! Yes, I know, I need to be smacked with some kind of reality stick and just realize that it isn't gonna happen, but I'm not ready to give up! I am 11DPO and I am now spotting but at 9DPO I caved in and took a test, yes I saw a shadow of a line in the time frame and so did DH. Yesterday, I still saw a shadow line, but it actually looked lighter than the day before and I started cramping reallllllllly bad..so I'm figuring if anything, probably a chemical pregnancy..right?! Man, why did I test? If I wouldnt have, I wouldn't have seen a line and gotten me and DH's hopes up again. Now I'm just waiting for AF with the undying hope that she will get lost and won't show for about 280 days...he he.. Could I get so lucky? Probably not. :( Still crossing my fingers though.